The trail behind

Sometimes I wonder why on earth I’ve gotten myself into a project. Take Beyond, for example. What was I thinking?!? It’s a huge undertaking, with lots of little pieces interacting together, complex and incomprehensible. Not really, but it feels that way a lot. :)

Graphic design is so much easier. For one thing, it’s a lot easier to see one’s progress on a piece of art. With programming, a lot of it is internal. It’s the same with writing and with composing music — it’s harder to see how good it is. You can take art in with a glance.

And so I wonder why I don’t just do art instead of all this other stuff. But no, I can’t. I feel driven to code, to write, to compose. And with Beyond, the vision of it lingers in my mind, and I can’t give that up. No matter how hard this project is, I have to press on, have to do the best I can. Then and only then will I be free from it. :) And then another project will take its place. This is the story of my life.

But looking back, accomplishments sure feel great. And that is why I do what I do. I look at what I did in the mission office, for example — created the Plan of Salvation cards, revised and re-typeset the 1000 Word List and the romanized Thai hymnbook, redesigned the Thai script card, and so on — and it feels good to have left a trail behind me. Not that that’s what matters most, of course, but hey, I’m glad to get joy wherever I can find it. :)

Look at what you have done–and what you are leaving! You will yet leave many things on this earth, I am sure, that are seen as very valuable for future generations . . .

Thanks. :) A few years ago (I can’t remember when), I was reading about some awesome people who’d done many great things, and I thought to myself, “I want to be like them.” Then I realized I can. It’s up to me what I do with my life — nobody can keep me from greatness. (I suppose it works even if one is looking for worldly greatness instead of godly greatness.)

And so I started changing my life, and while I still have a long way to go, I look at who I’ve become compared to who I was, and I’m pleased. And energized to keep on going. There will indeed be many other legacies I leave behind. (See the first song listed, “Will I Leave a Legacy?”)