Liz: I don’t know that the homemaker stereotype causes people to slight and ignore the naturals; in my case, at least, it’s more awe-inspiring than anything.

Nevermind.

And on the flip side, I don’t think that the stereotype is that great for women who are domestic. Instead of being recognized for their achievements and hard work, as they might be in any other profession, their accomplishments are slighted and ignored because they are simply expected. For some people, homemaking really is a talent, and they should be admired for that.

So, I wouldn’t say that stereotypes are good for anyone.

I can appreciate great art (to a degree.. I’m really a heathen in this matter), but as I am not an artist it doesn’t make me feel inadequate.

Likewise there are amazing athletes, but it doesn’t make me feel bad that I barely even exercise enough.

Somehow, though, in the LDS Church where homemaking is considered a profession much more than it is in the rest of the world, there is a social pressure to be as good as the real “professionals”–those who are homemakers full time, and really seem to have born with that calling, they’re so good at it. Others, who may be balancing homemaking tasks with full or part time jobs, or even just struggling to keep up with the workload of homemaking (and it is as heavy as any other job, certainly), may feel inadequate, because it’s an issue of basic quality of life. Or perceived quality of life.

I’m not saying the Martha Stewart types are intentionally creating this feeling of pressure to keep up, but I think we can’t pretend it doesn’t exist.

That said, I think the answer doesn’t lie in the natural expert homemakers toning things down, but rather in those who struggle with it to not feel compelled to keep up with the Sister Joneses.

Does that sound reasonable? That the solution is to be content with what we have and do the best we can to further develop our own unique set of gifts and talents.

But maybe that’s easier said than done. :)

Everyone else: How interesting. I hadn’t realized my girls-can-cook worldview was a stereotype, but upon further thought I’m sure you’re right. Fascinating. And I certainly didn’t mean to give offense (so thanks for not taking any :)); as sixline said, if anything I meant it as an appellation of respect and honor.

I’m also of the opinion that guys should know how to cook. Including myself. (Progress report: Saturday night I had two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner because I was in a hurry and didn’t have time to make pasta. Last night I ate at my family’s, which was far better but I didn’t cook it.) I emphatically do not mean that girls should cook and guys shouldn’t. Remember, I think men should sew and watch Jane Austen movies and all that. ;) (I also think women should contribute to society, get good educations, and so on. If they really want to join the Army or work construction or other things like that, so be it, but somehow it seems a little…confused? I mean, if a girl’s dream is to be an astronaut or what have you, that’s great! But if she wants to join the Army only to prove that she can do what a man can do, because of feminist agendas and such, then that’s silly. Bring the flames on. ;))

Of course, there’s the little Utah microcosm that is our ward, where sometimes my wife (a convert of 7 years) and I just laugh at how over-the-top it all seems sometimes… the ornately adorned treats or handouts as part of a lesson, or as a thank you for something that we would’ve done without being asked anyway, or even for no reason at all!

Cooking and homemaking skills are wonderful, but those who are naturally very skilled at such things can sometimes make those who have to work at it feel inadequate. We don’t even have kids yet, and I don’t have the energy to randomly bake goodies for my neighbors.. occasionally for the home teachers, sure, but we all know people who seem to be able to do it all. And if you’re married to one, well, don’t mind me if I move in next door. ;)

Don’t worry. I rarely ever get truly upset about things, just entertained by the oddities of our world.

Oops.

I only meant that there’s nothing to resent. If people want to think I’m poor because I don’t wear fancy clothing, that’s fine by me. If people want to assume that because I’m a guy I can’t cook, I’m not going to get my feathers ruffled. Of all the bad stereotypes women have against going against them, I don’t think the one about cooking is bad. I also don’t mean to imply that good caretaking is genetic. The emotions that support it could be, but yes, any guy can learn to cook if he applies himself. I was just a bit surprised that you resented the implication that women can cook because they’re women. It’s not an insult. I can see the resentment of the idea that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, but not they’re ability to cook.

I really don’t want to start a thing, here. Please, if I’m guilty of reading into your tone of voice, I apologize. I don’t mean to offend. Don’t let this come to spoon fighting.