Smatterings

Today I want to talk about change. Two cents, to be precise. Or non cents, depending on your perspective.

But really, I’m in the middle of a passionate love/hate relationship with Change. On the one hand, I loathe it, since I’m very much a creature of habit (as y’all may have noticed), and it’s nice for my snug little world to stay just the way it is. I don’t like goodbyes. (Unless we get to sing “God Be With You Till We Meet Again.” :P) Sticking with my current job is saving me from a lot of goodbyes, and life will stay roughly the same for the next school year. At least that’s the plan. :) I love my current calling (executive secretary) and would love to keep it till I get married and move out of the ward. (I’ve decided that the only thing that’ll get me to move out is marriage. I’ll probably be here a while. ;))

On the other hand, though (and you’ll have to tell me whether it’s the right or the left, or maybe even the big; the small got broken last week), I love change. I thrive on meeting new people, adapting to new situations and technologies, and carving different pathways. Change is exciting, fun, and challenging. If there’s something better out there, I’m usually all for switching. With computers, for example, I was originally a DOS/Windows guy, then I switched to Linux for eight years, and a year and a half ago I converted to Mac. And I would get bored if I never started reading new books.

I think change is one of those waves of life where it’s good and healthy to go back and forth between loving it and hating it. Of course, that in and of itself is change.

Okay, so today I guess I’m struggling to come up with something good to write about. Sorry. :) Thanks for all the comments lately, and hopefully tomorrow I’ll be able to reply to most of them. Incidentally, the total number of comments exceeded the number of posts not too long ago (491 to 465 as of this post). Shall we try to hit 1000 by the end of the year? ;)

Anyway, my talk went well. Usually before public speaking or anything like unto it, my heartrate quadruples and I have to swallow a lot and I get a semi-queasy feeling. But the last few times I’ve spoken in church, I’ve felt surprisingly calm. But only in church. (Though admittedly my throat dries up about ten seconds after I start talking — I need to start requesting cups of water… :)) And I have to have a podium to hide behind. If it’s just me up there, I feel awfully vulnerable. Not that I really expect anyone to start chucking fruit at me, nor would I need to begin practicing dodging flaming arrows. (But that would be a pretty darn cool story. Someday…)

Finally, when I mentioned my Book of Mormon project to a girl at church today, she said, “Every time I talk with you I feel sooooo unproductive.” I don’t think she meant it in a bad way, but it got me thinking. I certainly hope I don’t give anyone guilt trips from reading this — on the contrary, I hope y’all can catch some of the zest and excitement and go off and do amazing things. I wish no one felt unproductive. If I inadvertently cause that, I’m sorry. (The best way to cure that is for you to go do something productive, I guess. :P) I must admit, though, that a healthy drive akin to obsessive compulsion does help out a bit. :)

That’s enough for today. I’m going up to my family’s for dinner. (Yes, real food. Mmm. :))

Amen to that girl–I feel like I should be doing at least twenty more major projects every time I read your blog. :D But, really, reading your blog has been very inspirational and pivotal in forcing me to just get out and do the things I’m always planning to do. Thanks for being a good example of general busy-ness. ;)

I agree with Liz, in that reading your blog inspires me to get out of the house and do something worthwhile. Or do something worthwhile inside the house. Or just SOMETHING in general! ;)

You are President Kimball’s mantra personified: “DO IT!” Oh, and Nike’s. Way to go, Ben. :)

Are you still ushering / volunteering at Education Week?

hello there,
so i am a bit new to the blog world…well, actually i am not really new, but that is another story for another time. just thought i’d leave a comment on the change thing. i know exactly how you feel…infact, i just recently wrote a little about the changes in my life here just yesterday. just wanted to tell you to stick with it. i know change is hard…yada, yada, yada…but truthfully it is good for us. i have enjoyed reading some of your blogs, and hope to have contact with you in the future. peace out.

Liz: Good, I’m glad it’s inspiring. :)

Terrah: Yes, DO IT! :) Maybe I’ll add a subheading up top… As for Education Week, no, I won’t be ushering this year. There’s too much to do at work, along with my other projects (like Beyond), that I can’t afford to give up that much time. ~sigh~

Shazer: Welcome to the blogosphere! :) Glad to have you. I tried checking out your blog, but Blogger gave me a file not found error; is the URL correct?

I’m not going to lie–reading your blog makes me feel extremely unproductive. I’m probably just envious that you put your drive to learn and accomplish things into action while I often find myself getting hung up on other time-consuming but less productive aspects of life.

As for your paradoxical feelings about change… I think that’s generally how I feel. I do love meeting new people and experiencing new things; at the same time, though, it’s hard to leave behind other people and places I’ve come to care about. I’d like to just keep all of that while also bringing new experiences into my life. But, unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), life doesn’t usually work that way.

I suppose if we gained new experiences without leaving stuff behind, we’d get full. :P