In response to the discussion on Connor’s blog about homeschooling, I wrote up this response. I recommend reading the other comments in the thread so you have a clearer idea of what I’m replying to. And I’ve learned that I could probably write about education for pages and pages. Maybe I’ll write a book about it… :) Anyway, if some of you who know me personally wouldn’t mind witnessing that I’m not completely socially inept, that’d be nice. Just kidding. ;)
I think a word needs to be said about the prevalent misconception that homeschooling will almost certainly turn your kids into “social oddities,” like some magic potion gone horribly wrong. My guess is that people think that because they’ve met a homeschooling family which was a little weird. And there are certainly homeschoolers who are weird, who don’t quite fit into society.
But don’t forget the other side of the coin: there are plenty of kids in public school who are just as weird. It’s unsound to take one particular homeschooling family and generalize that most or all are exactly like them, just as it’s ludicrous to look at a high school shooting and say that all public schooled kids are going to turn into murderers.
So where does the weirdness or normalcy come from, then? I suppose it’s debatable, but in my experience it stems more from the family and from the innate nature of the child. Dysfunctional families often result in dysfunctional children. There might be a large number of such families which pull their kids out of school because the kids get persecuted there for being weird, but that doesn’t make homeschooling illegitimate, nor does it mean all homeschoolers are socially retarded.
Case in point: I was homeschooled through junior high school, then went to high school (and now college). My younger siblings have all been homeschooled, though most of the high school aged kids have gone to public school for at least some time. As children, we were at home during the day instead of at school, but we still played with our neighborhood friends after school, and I didn’t ever feel particularly left out because I was homeschooled. Right now our home is one of the main hubs for the kids in the neighborhood to play at.
I don’t mean that to come out as a “Look at me, I’m not weird!” For example, I’m not exactly a social butterfly. I don’t care to hang out, and I’m anything but a party animal. My younger sisters are complete social butterflies. We grew up in the same environment, and yet I like my alone time and my sisters thrive on society. It seems inescapable that it’s the nature of our personalities to be outgoing or not. It doesn’t seem to be the case that homeschooling affects this.
Granted, being at home instead of with all the other kids may have slight influence, but I don’t think it’s anywhere near as important as people make it. Learning how to function in society is, for the most part, learned in the home. Homeschoolers have plenty of opportunities to operate in the real world. And is isolation always such a bad thing? It can be, if the family is dysfunctional to begin with, but with a normal, healthy family, what’s wrong with being miles from the nearest house? It’s like that out in the country (or at least was), and I don’t think everyone who comes from the country is socially inept.
John: I can understand why you’d be concerned about parents not having adequate knowledge to teach your children. If we’re only talking about parents teaching their own children, then I think there’s nothing wrong with the parents learning as they go. You don’t need to take classes to learn things. They help, to be sure, but teaching oneself is a perfectly legitimate method (and in my opinion, often more effective). And while it’s better for the parent to know as much about the subject as possible, the learning process is not a cut-and-dry, one-time thing, and as such it’s okay to make mistakes, provided that we learn from them. And we all make mistakes, and most of us learn from them.
Frankly, I’m excited to teach my children, and to learn as I go. I am 100% sure that my children will grow up socially normal and will fit into society (in the right way; I most certainly do not intend for them to become mindless drones sapping their very vitality from pop culture, even if that’s the easiest way to fit in these days). I have no worries about my kids losing out on opportunities because they learned at home instead of at school. None. Homeschooling isn’t perfect, but it’s a lot better than public school. (I’ll add that I don’t consider public school to be 100% evil, either. There’s a lot of good, but the evil is increasing and it’s becoming too dangerous, with too much room for moral failure. I respect those public school teachers who are honestly trying to teach as best they can, and I think they’re a much-needed part of society. But I do think that privatization of education would result in much better quality.)

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