This postI’m terrible with money. Money doesn’t really have much meaning to me — I couldn’t care less — and while that’s a good defense against worshipping the god of Wall Street, it’s not much help with budgeting and saving and all that. I did take Family Finance a year ago, and I learned a lot of good things, but I haven’t actually done them since the class.
Let’s switch gears for a second. I’m a busy man. During the school year I’m usually bogged down with homework, because I procrastinate. I’ve also got work, which weighs heavily on my mind, and the C.S. Lewis Society, which doesn’t, and my Riverglen Press work, and my calling, and a plethora of other things. But the most pressing is usually homework. Neverending, it seems.
The other day I was thinking about all this, and like Krakatoa this question erupted in my mind: Am I mismanaging my time and my money so I have an excuse for not serving?
It’s a ghastly question, mainly because it’s probably true. All along I’ve thought I was being so unselfish, when in reality I was holding back. “Sorry, God, I’d love to serve but I’m just too busy.” Somehow that argument tastes like stale cotton candy now. I promised the Lord that I’d give my all — my time, my resources, my talents, everything — to serve Him and His children and to build His kingdom. Looking back isn’t acceptable.
In a similar vein, earlier this week I read Frank Kelland’s editorial “Caring for impoverished” in the Daily Universe, and this line struck me:
When asked by his grandson why he was a Democrat, Hugh B. Brown (counselor to Pres. David O. McKay) answered, “Because they care about the poor.”
Ignoring the political affiliations for a moment since that’s not the point, I realized that I’m not doing a very good job at this keystone of what it means to be Christian. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matt. 25:40) “I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” (Mosiah 2:17) “For the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God — I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.” (Mosiah 4:26) It’s all over the scriptures.
What am I going to tell the Lord at Judgment Day? “Well, I did serve the middle and upper classes…” And of course I come up with the excuse that I didn’t really see the poor all that often, that most of my time I was either on campus or in my apartment. And once again I realize how shallow my argument is. Did Jesus sit around waiting for the poor to come to him? It seems like He said something about going out, not about staying at home.
Returning to the first topic, as part of my goal to excel at school this semester instead of slacking off, I’ve been keeping up on my homework. And you know what I’ve found? I’ve got more time than I did before, when I was procrastinating. A few times over the past couple of days I’ve had people asking for help, and where I normally would say, “Sorry, I’ve got a bunch of schoolwork to finish,” I’ve instead realized that I do have time to serve. It’s worth it.
As for the money issues, now that I’m aware of my error, I can start fixing it. It should be much easier to manage my money when my goal is to use it to serve others, not to build myself up. I also need to start seeking out ways to help the poor. Inertia has kept me paralyzed for too long; it’s time to channel the fiery power of agency into exterminating apathy and building up edifices of service, love, and compassion in its place.
