Comments on: Mauled while dialing

by: Ben

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 16:09:03 +0000

The lesson in my D&C class just now seemed to echo this: we talked about D&C 86 and the parable of the wheat and the tares. If you pluck early, it’s awfully hard to tell the difference between the real plants and the weeds, and you could easily pull out a genuine plant without realizing it. It is therefore better to wait until the plants mature, when you can easily tell the difference.

Relationships are often thus. (Though I do want to add that sometimes it’s very clear that a relationship won’t work out, and I don’t think we have any obligation to pursue it. Like if the other person is a convicted murderer or a drug dealer or something. Not that that’s happened to me, of course. :P)

by: Ben

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 14:24:53 +0000

Ah, I’ve learned something: in the past, it’s always been black or white for me within a few minutes of the first date, and apparently I’ve projected that onto the female population without even realizing it. Fascinating. (I’m starting to change, which is one of the reasons this is now readily apparent to me. I always thought that my initial reaction was gospel, burned into stone, and now I’m realizing that it may not be the way things are done. Suffice it to say that it’s been a much-needed humbling experience, and I do believe I’m getting closer to the truth. That’s always a good thing. It’s like casting off dragonskin in C.S. Lewis’s The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Not the most pleasant experience, perhaps, but so worth it.)

by: Liz Muir

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:56:54 +0000

I will second Connor on that one. Oh yes.

by: Connor

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 02:11:30 +0000

I think you’re also discounting the fact that 99% of the female population is inherently indecisive. I’ve dated girls where they didn’t know how they felt, even weeks into the relationship. They were testing the waters, open to the possibility that it might work out, but it wasn’t black/white for them from the get go…

by: Ben

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 16:21:11 +0000

Okay, okay, you’ve got a point. :) As for whether it’s better, I’m finding myself agreeing as well — it’s more of a natural growth, and it’s far less stressful (I think) because you’re not worrying about romance until it sneaks up on you from behind. But it doesn’t always happen that way. Maybe someday I’ll write a book on categories of romance. (Librarians do such things, you know.) Actually, if such a book were to be written, I’m pretty sure a woman would have to write it. Men can’t write books like that without endangering themselves. ;)

by: Liz Muir

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 15:10:06 +0000

As one of the exceptions to the previously stated “rule,” I have to interject, despite your disclaimers. To use Pride and Prejudice as an example, not everyone has a Jane-Bingley kind of love. Some love grows slowly–Elizabeth and Darcy, for example. And I might have to side with Jane Austen in saying that this type of love might be the better type. (Gah, I’m agreeing with Jane Austen! What is the world coming to?)

That said, I turn to Churchill: “Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.” Good luck! ;)