Yea, yea, nay, nay

In the quintessential example, the hammer slams against the wood and a flurry of typographical marks (#@!%^&@!) flies into the air as the nail breathes a sigh of relief when it realizes it’s safe for at least another few seconds, and the finger calls ER while shaking its head and vowing never again to sign up for a job like this. The pay just isn’t worth it.

It’s those typographical marks I want to talk about. In English, we have a whole cast of swear words, starting with the mild, innocuous, accountant-type fellows all the way up to the filthy, monstrous maggots of speech, dripping with vile poison and staining everything they touch.

I think everyone would agree that these latter blokes are the enemies of polite society and probably should be avoided. (Granted, there are those who disagree, but in general it’s not considered good manners to drop the f-bomb in public.) But what about the former? Like wolves in sheep’s clothing, we have a numerous host of cuss words in disguise.

For example, there’s darn and dang, cousin to the theological verb denoting separation from God; there’s heck, a slightly tamer place with fewer accordions and hooves, just outside Dante’s nine rings; there’s gosh, which is not a contraction of galosh, contrary to common belief :P, but is, like golly, a euphemism for “God”; there’s jeez, which is a contraction of “Jesus”; there’s zounds (admittedly falling out of use), which comes from “God’s wounds”; there’s crikey, which is a euphemism for “Christ”; there’s “Jiminy Cricket” for “Jesus Christ”; and there are plenty of others.

Now, all of these are theological in nature, and most expletives seem to fall into either this category or into that of bodily functions. We won’t go there, of course, but it’s an interesting delineation. Spirit and body.

But that’s a topic for another post. What I want to get at here is this: is it wrong to use words like gosh and darn? What about “goodness gracious” and “good heavens”? Do all of the milder religious expletives necessarily connote blasphemy?

Of the mild theological “swear words,” I think most of the ones I just listed have lost their bite, so to speak — in a way they’re almost completely different words, regardless of what they once were. I’ve never felt like I’ve lost the Spirit because I said dang or heck, at any rate. I do shy away from jeez, because for some reason it strikes closer to the bone for me, but that may just be my own taste. I mean, how many of us knew where jeez came from? If we didn’t know, then we’re almost certainly not using it blasphemously. (The problem is when you do know, then every time you hear or say it, your subconscious is thinking about where it came from. Sorry to ruin it for y’all. I recommend you use “hobblestock” instead. I doubt anyone’s using that yet. :P)

As for the bodily function expletives, I generally try to avoid them entirely — “crap,” “fart,” the works. (And I do apologize for writing them here, even though most of you won’t be offended in the least by them, but I know some are more sensitive to this sort of thing. My use of them here is purely scientific/linguistic. And you won’t see them on this blog again.) They seem, to my ear, crude and earthy. I see the logic defending their use — that bodily functions are natural and that we can’t mystify them lest we create some kind of fence around them that — but they’re not my cup of tea. Herbal tea, that is.

At the same time, even though I’m comfortable saying gosh and heck, I think it’s perfectly fine if someone were to choose to abstain from saying those words. And if I knew they didn’t use them, then I would do my best to refrain from saying them while in their company. Higher standards are rarely a bad thing.

We must be in some parallels universe. I just had this discussion with my girlfriend. I myself have been trying to steer clear of the euphemisms and substitues, because they are unintelligent filler words that only denote frustration. I can’t imagine Christ or GBH using any of these words, so my goal for myself is to eliminate them as well.

It’s hard.

Sure, it’s better to use a substitute than it is to use the real thing. However, what good does it do? What purpose does the word serve? Does it really let one vent frustration in appropriate channels? Is it possible to never think that I’m really saying “Jesus” when I say “Jeeeez”?

Your last sentence about sums it up. Henry Ward Beecher would agree:

Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else.

Ben,
I lived in a household for a time where all those words were spoken. I used wheelbarrow as a substitute. What I noticed after coming out of that household was that there is a physical neurological reaction in your body that accompanies whatever phrase you use. Regardless of the words, you suffer physically and emotionally because those words usually accompany contention and are used in anger.

When I stopped using wheelbarrow and started expressing what I was thinking or feeling, the feelings dissipated and my spirit was healed. I had no idea what the origin of some of those words were.

Having lived on both sides of the line, I would strongly suggest no bad words and no substitutes. Just learn to express yourself and life will be much more pleasant, and I think that you will live longer.

hey ben–this is actually just to say i put a link to your Thai Wiki on my page and wanted you to know about it. -leslie

I started to say “flip” and didn’t like it, so I was trying to stop. One day at work, I said “f..” and caught myself. Now, I have a strong “good girl” image at work (for good reason) and the co-worker I was with gasped. I had to explain that I was stopping myself from saying “flip,” not the word she was thinking of. :P

Whoo, boy. Here I go.* This is not meant to be argumentative. Really.

I find it perversely amusing that you defend writing “crap” and “fart” on scientific/linguistic grounds, but you find it okay to make explicit the etymology of various euphemisms for deity, restrengthening for your reading audience the blasphemous connections which centuries of linguistic change have served to obscure.

If you were legitimately exploring the origins of these phrases from a scientific perspective, that’s one thing, but you’re not, you’re examining what should and shouldn’t be said (”from a faithful LDS perspective” being implied). Therefore, I don’t think it does anybody a serve, because your explanations actually just serve as subtle sources of additional (and arguably unnecessary) guilt over using phrases that, while etymologically connected to deity, those connections are unbeknownst to many, and thus unintended by many. A word like, say, “zounds” is utterly innocuous in this day and age, so unless you’re looking at it in a legitimately impartial way, it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, if you ask me.

But since you opened the can of worms, I’ll add that “drat” comes from “God rot,” originally being a mild curse, as in, “God rot you!”

Speaking of “darn” and “dang,” why is “damn” a swear word? Is it because it is something only God is entitled to do? Then why isn’t “smite” a swear word? Or “be omniscient”? To answer my own question, I’d guess that its status as a swear word is tied to its use in the expressions “God damn X” (verb phrase) and “God-damned” (adjective). But I still think the status of “damn” as taboo is questionable, especially since words like “goldurn(it),” “dadblam(mit),” “dadgum(mit),” which have much more obvious ties to blasphemy, aren’t.

Which brings me to another point: Ben, you defend “crap,” but I think you would be offended if I used the same defense to write that saying “crap” is a mild substitute for saying the other word I will not write so as not to offend you. It’s a halfhearted defense, at best.

Now, how about about one-offs from bodily functions? “Shoot” should be of obvious origin, “snot” as in “I’ll beat the snot out of you,” etc. Is the offensiveness of the words they euphemize the actual meaning of the word, or rather the negative weight associated with it? I think it has to be the latter, because we regularly talk about bodily functions out of necessity, and we even have super-cutesy versions we use with kids: “wee-wee” “pee-pee” poo-poo,” when we could just as easily use a kiddified version of the adult euphemism “go to the bathroom,” by saying “go potty.” So I don’t think it’s the content of bodily function words that is ultimately offensive. Doctors don’t take a “potty sample” they take a stool or urine sample. Imagine a doctor being too polite to tell you which he needed! Seems unprofessional, right? Even if he were to say “I need a #1 sample,” it just sounds silly. So while “crap” is still regarded as impolite, it’s in fact a euphemism in itself, likely coming from the Middle English “crappe” meaning “grain that was trodden underfoot in a barn, chaff,” hence, refuse. Nothing to do with Thomas Crapper (whose last name is a variant of “cropper,” an occupational surname). So “crap” is not unlike “droppings” in its origin.

I think we have to realize that linguistic taboo is frequently illogical. Still, polite speech is a virtue, so we should seek to speak politely within the mores of our times. But we can still recognize that taboos change, and our worst swear words may be innocuous in another 100 years, while “hobblestock” may become the vilest of vile words.

Now, maybe it’s a Utah thing, but I have never heard “fart” used as an expletive or swear word. “What the fart are you doing?” has a certain amusing ring to it, but aren’t you conflating a discussion on expletives with a larger discussion on unsavory language? (Regardless, since we’re having fun with the topic, I’ll point out that there are plenty of euphemisms for “fart,” both those that retain a linguistic resemblance, e.g. “fluff,” “foof,” “poot,” and those that circumlocute, e.g. “pass gas,” “break wind,” “cut the cheese,” etc.)

I also think the word “expletive” is pejorative and can be a loaded term, as it seems to be in the context of your discussion. For many words, “exclamation” or “interjection” is a more apt description.

One more thing. I disagree that choosing not to say “heck” or “gosh” constitutes higher standards, because I don’t believe we can definitely say that it’s wrong to utter these words. Stricter standards, yes, but not necessarily higher. Increased abstinence from something does not always equal better. This comparison is not entirely apt, but it’s one I’m sure you’ll get: The Pharisees didn’t have higher standards than Christ because they refused to associate with sinners, or refused to help others on the sabbath. They just had stricter standards.

* Please don’t tell me something like “whoo boy” is a euphemism for “holy boy” meaning the baby Jesus. I think I just might explode. :P

I have never used a science text book with my children, including my son that graduated from BYU in engineering at the age 19. He scored high enough on the ACT that he got accepted to BYU when he was 15. He took no ACT prep test or class. He only took the ACT once. I never taught or assigned from a textbook. He is a senior rocket engineer and will defend his master’s thesis next month. All three of my college kids tested high in science.

We did nature walks, and they read science books. We have a science encyclopedia and they read an article or so each day. They followed interests at the library. They collected bugs and rocks. They took college science classes and did just fine. All college students have to take general education classes at college, and these are general survey classes, and not one that I took at BYU was based on having a highschool class in it, to understand the class.

Nature studies, walks, observations, weather stations, studying the stars, memorizing the periodic tables, learning plant names, reading the Growing with Science series…Yet, no text books, and all scored very high in science and one has made rocketry his profession, and one owns and runs a computer repair company and also builds integrated office systems.

I have 3 left at home. We take walks, we use science in gardening (horticulture), star gazing, weather tracking, the principles involved in cooking, of and we have the same science encyclopedia. I have added the stories of great scientists from ancient times to the present. When we start working on fine art, they will learn anatomy.

All very interesting.

I teach a scholar class for youth. On occasion, a book has words that we would not choose to use because of the words were course. The books of The Chosen , Ender’s Game, Alas Babylon, are a few that have brought this to the forefront. So, I get out a few dictionaries and we look up the difference between,
oath
curse
swear
profane
vulgar
All of which are different nuances. We discuss the difference between the English and their Norman invaders and discuss Ivanhoe. From the Normans came beef, where the English farmer called it cow, Normans said foul, where English would say chicken. The Normans would say pork and the English swine or pig. One was considered more refined the other more vulgar or base.

Hell is a noun and when used as a filler word, it is no longer a place and is vulgar.

Damn refers to the state of the soul and when used as a filler word it is vulgar.

Both are in the scriptures, and when used in context are appropriate.

An ass is an animal. However the Greeks used various forms of the word to refer to effeminate men, for which they had loathing. They felt that men that played the female role were not to be trusted in office as the were slaves to their passion. We are spared the connection of the original greek terms, because we read English translations. I was shocked to find the connection.

I do not like to use cheesy, and other more common phrases.

I was taught when I grew up that you do not discuss body functions at the table or in social gatherings. Also, that when you get up and move down the isle, you do not stick your backside in the face of people, but rather you face them. I was also taught that during concerts or other presentations that it is not gracious to talk, whisper, or even cough. If you have physical issues you do not come, as to not distract your neighbor. You save you conversation for intermission. Well, when I joined the church, I was shocked. People spoke in public and even over the pulpit of having had diarrhea. I was stunned the first time someone said it.
people talk and whisper and carry on in plays, harp concerts, etc.
I have been at public event where people entering or leaving have almost stuck the hind side in my face. I must say we have become all to causal in speech, manner, and dress.

If we would look into it, much of slang had its origin in the vulgar (common) language of the unrefined. I made the mistake of calling my son a cute little booger. My mother-in-law thought I said bugger and she nearly lost it. She is 87 and to her generation, I was calling my runny nose two year old a sodomite. Of course, I had never heard the connection so I looked it up. Then a few decades later my second son informed me that a schmuck was yiddish for jerk, and was the foreskin thrown away after circumcision. Jerk even is a term of sexual connotation.

I said, “My Word,” one day and was reminded that Christ was The Word. I settle for “On My.” I think that when we enter the presense of angels we will be entering the most refined society.
I cannot imagine them using slang. I could not imagine saying, “who farted, or foofed, or putted, or dealt it, ” in the presence of my Bishop, GBH, or the Savior. I would have the dignity to not draw attention to the fact that it had happened. It is simply unnecessary and crude.

This is not about being as the Pharasees. This is about refinement and dignity. When we are sloppy in speech and dress, how are we representing our Savior, whose name we have taken?

Then there are the cutsy phrases not said in anger. I could not imagine a child of two saying, “mommy, I have a stool in my diaper or I urniated in my underwear, or I need a tissue because I have mucus.” Yet as my children grow, I help them understand that we do not discuss those things in public. Not because normal body functions are evil, but because it can draw images in people’s minds and that some stomachs are more delicate than others. The purpose of good manners is not stuffiness or even arrogance, but consideration for others. We do not judge others that choose to speak courser, we just do not engage.

Now all of this said, the neighborhood environment I grew up in was very different from my home. Next to my elementary school in Hawaii was a government housing project. The kids I went to school with used the f word like many here use like and you know.
AFter joining the church and going to college at BYU I returned to Hawaii for my sister’s wedding. I ran into an old classmate. SHe had married a guy on the Miami Dolphins team, she had been Miss Hawaii USA. I introduced her to my husband, and as she talked about her present life, the f word was everywhere. It was such a shock to my ears.

We live in a day when people are no longer liberally educated in the classics. We have lost understanding and refinement of our language. However, when a person moves beyond mere job and career education, and delves into the readings of what GBH refers to as the inspired writings of mankind, language, its courser side and it more refined, becomes very clear. When that happens, how can we speak sloppy?

OK wordy, but earnest.

I think that there is some correlation between “damn” and “bloody” (as used in Britain). I was once taught (don’t ask me when or where, because I can’t remember!) that damn is derived from “Adam”, just as bloody revers to Adam’s blood. Or something like that.

Or maybe it’s just that I woke up 10 minutes ago and still am not thinking clearly. That may have more merit.

I personally think that it will be a long time before heaven becomes so refined. At least a millennia. I am glad that missionaries visit the homes of the unrefined. I am thankful that Christ found company with the publicans and sinners and was able to love them enough to give his life for them. I can’t sing the hymn “I Stand All Amazed” without a deep and profound sense of gratitude in my heart for all Christ has done for me.

My sons were kidnapped and raised by their father and two different step-mothers. The home was not refined in any sense of the word, but I am so grateful for every word that comes from my son’s mouths to my ears. I am also grateful that God hears their less than perfect prayers and answers them.

As a mother, my favorite words that I remember are the ones my kids got wrong like pinecorns and screwberries, unbrenella, and aminals. I don’t think that God minds if we have dangling participles or mispronounce a word. He cares about the heart.

Some people have opportunities for learning that others do not have. One reason that I love Ben’s blog is that it is an opportunity for learning. I enjoy rikkers’ comments on the blog for precisely that reason. It is a once in a lifetime chance to be a mouse in the pocket of two intelligent men where the mouse has a chance to listen and learn.

Refinement is good and curse words are not desirable, but I think that we need to be careful not to judge others that haven’t been so blessed. I would rather see someone at the Portland Symphony with popcorn (and it did happen) than to not see them there at all. It let me know that someone was getting exposure to the finer things in life…perhaps next time they will know more.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am all for setting higher standards for ourselves. I just think that we should be careful not to judge or to try to set standards for others. For all we know, the less refined standards of another may be considerably improved from their previous standard.

My son went to a church dinner with me once and a “refined lady” asked me what I thought of his earring. I replied that I love my son’s dress and grooming standards and that I respected his agency. The bishop said, “Good job mom!” And the rest of the people at the table started to compliment Kris on his dress.

Whether it is in speech, dress, habits, or manners, we should all strive to better ourselves and set higher standards. Then just teach by example and love one another.

Well, my favorite is “Oh my heck!” and I have it on good authority that heck is not a swear word. My 4-year-old granddaughter, Maddie, about three weeks ago announced, “Heck is not a ‘wear word.” I said, “Heck is not a ‘wear word?” She then corrected me, “swear word.”

To change the subject a little as far as what might be offensive to some people, I’ve noticed twice now ‘GBH’ and it doesn’t seem to show the respect that President Hinkley deserves, in my opinion.

That’s just my 2 cents worth.

“GBH” Oh, so that’s what that stands for. I agree. I knew that it must be -standing for something…I’m just a little dense here. LOL - Thanks Shirley! I’m looking forward to lunch with our girls.

I do believe swear words, for the most part, are only a sin if the culture perceives them as such.

But because our culture does perceive them as bad, and because those who swear frequently will usually admit guilt, swearing really is a sin.

If a person believes that they are sinning and all of their company believes that they are sinning, they will generally label themselves as a sinner and venture into other sins.

Generally.

But generally enough that it should be a truism.

What I mean by all of this is that these substitute words are only bad if the speaker or the general public believes that they are vile. I have yet to feel guilt for saying “bloody,” but I would like to think that if I had grown up in England I would pray for forgiveness for writing it on this screen.

Same with saying “what the heck?” or “dang.” They haven’t ever phased me. As long as my immediate company doesn’t take offense–isn’t stymied or shocked–I think I will not feel guilt for my comments.

When I need an expletive I say “guildy.”

Goodness, that touched a nerve, didn’t it. :) (Not to get self-conscious here or anything, but do notice the beginning of that sentence. :P)

Anyway, to respond to Rikker’s comments, yes, this post was a Siamese twin combining two topics that could and probably should be separated. (The linguistic origin of expletives on the one hand, and whether or not expletives should be used on the other.) Oh well. :) And you’re right, “fart” isn’t an expletive; it’s a bodily-function word that has taboo associations in some circles. But not all. I think Jon’s statement that swear words are only a sin if the culture perceives them as such is on the dot. (Though with sliding mores, we may have to redefine which culture we’re talking about. The LDS culture considers taking the name of God in vain to be a sin; the English-speaking world at large, however, or even just American culture on its own, does not.)

WOW! Or should I say, MAN! Or maybe even GOOD GRIEF!
While I would never question the holiness of our God or our call to be holy in the Scriptures… I do believe that there are going to be many, many, many people walking around heaven for the first trillion years or so with their jaws dropped wondering how a lot of us got in!
I grew up in the south and have heard my family say dad-gummit all of my life. These are Christian people who lives lives that show fruit. I have worked full time in the church for 24 years. My student/youth choir toured all over the country and abroad singing in youth detention centers, homes for unwed mothers, etc. We always had a very moving time of prayer before we went out to minister to those who never had the same opportunities as we did. The last thing I always said to my kids before we went out to sing was “Jesus loves these people, so SMILE, DADGUMMIT!” Many of the kids who are adults with kids themselves now tell me that they remember that and always remember to smile when they are singing about our awesome Savior.
It breaks my heart to see people get so bent out of shape and assign meaning to things people say that they never even thought of - much less said! I think that those who have nothing better to do than look back 100 years to see what a word meant in another place need to spend that time telling others about Jesus. The loving, merciful, incredible awesome Jesus who wants us to love Him back! When we love Him back the way we ought to, our language, thoughts, actions and “judgements” follow in His will. It’s a beautiful and humbling experience.
God bless you all… dad-gummit!

:)