Back to business

Well, I don’t think I’ve gone a week without posting since I began this blog. It wasn’t just blogging that I gave up, though — I didn’t check my e-mail even once. I’m so proud of myself. :) So anyway, I was in Kansas at a family reunion, sans Internet access, thus the dearth of posts. And now I’m back. Let the flood recommence. Today we’ll start with a few lessons I learned over the past week:

Lesson #1: Long cross-country car drives can be like the ninth circle of Dante’s Hell. Eighteen hours each way. Twelve of us in one van. Not to mention luggage — clothes, food, TV/Nintendo to keep the kids happy, trampoline, rocking chair, tandem bike, you name it. And the air conditioning didn’t quite reach the back, where I was scrunched up like an embryo. Luckily we realized on the return trip that opening the side windows was about a hundred times better than air conditioning and it even reached the back of the van. The ideal salve to the agony of 18-hour drives is, of course, a self-induced timer-driven coma. But since I don’t know how to pull that off (at least not without possibly blacking myself out for the next six weeks), I was left to suffer like a man. At least I got a handful of good pictures of Nebraska skies and Kansas cornfields.

Lesson #2: Reading doesn’t make me car-sick anymore. It used to, but no longer, and so I was able to read the second half of The Hero and the Crown and most of Anthony Hope’s The Prisoner of Zenda on the way back. Reading whilst riding in a car for long periods of time is good, not only because you can’t sleep the whole time (at least I can’t), but also because it helps put you to sleep. Temporarily, that is, not like a dog.

Lesson #3: Family is good. We had almost eighty people at our reunion, which wasn’t bad considering it was just my grandparents and their children and so on. I met cousins I didn’t even know I had. And I re-met cousins I hadn’t seen in over ten years. And I met one guy who was with my cousins and who I thought might somehow be related to me, but no, he was just there. I don’t know why. Anyway, I love my big extended family and I’m now thinking it’s a pity that we don’t do the whole everyone-live-in-the-same-house thing. Or at least the same neighborhood.

Lesson #4: I don’t like malls. I’m not sure how I learned this lesson on this trip because we didn’t even go to the mall, but nonetheless I’ve added malls to my list of eccentric exclusions (along with parties, parades, and wedding receptions). Too loud, too brash, too commercial. There’s only one time I can think of in the past few years where I’ve gone to a mall and haven’t felt like the life was being sucked out of me.

Lesson #5: While vacations are good, real life is even better. I’m so glad to get back to my normal life again, I can’t express it in words. Vacations leave me with too much dead time and none of the trappings I’ve built to give that time life (things like typesetting). I need a schedule. I need things to do. Sitting around all day is worse than a lobotomy. Sure, I loved being with my family, and those parts were great. I’d rather just make that a part of everyday life, though, and stick with my usual routine. And yes, I do realize that my future family will probably veto this and I’ll end up taking them on vacations all the time. Life isn’t fair. :P

Ben,

I am glad that you enjoyed your family reunion. It’s too bad that you didn’t enjoy the trip as much as you could have. I grew up in K.C. I know what it is like to take long rides in a station wagon with 12 people and no A/C while traveling across Kansas…it still can be fun. My cousins used to squish into a corner of their camper and giggle. When their parents asked what they were doing they said that they were playing cousins on vacation. I never knew that my long suffering on a journey could provide so much entertainment for my extended family.

Your lessons are interesting. Here are some other lessons for you to consider. I found a quote that I really like:

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, ‘Wow - What a ride!’” ~Peter Sage

I read people like you read books. They are fascinating creatures. I start with a question and then ask a question about each answer until I finish reading at least one chapter. That is why I find any type of people gathering so much fun. Try playing the part of an author interviewing a subject for a book and you might find that you actually enjoy some of the things that you so detest at this time.

Take your camera with you when shopping at the malls. You can always find a statue, fountain or interesting object to photograph. Have a contest with someone else to see who can find the most statues or fountains… to photograph. The looser of the best [object] photograph contest buys the winner lunch. Make the boring activities in life a game.

If you are at a store that has shopping carts, you can play a game. Pair off and take ten minutes to fill up a shopping cart. Then trade carts with another pair and see who can put everything back in its proper place in the shortest amount of time.

Life is always an adventure for those who are willing to have a little fun. I’ve even been known to pose with the mannequins in Macy’s Department Store display window while playing with the window shoppers’ minds.

Sometimes it is the attitude not the activity that makes the journey fun and interesting. At 60, I can already say, “Wow! What a ride.”

I love coming home to my normal routine after a vacation, but if there wasn’t the vacation, I’d get tired of the normal routine much more quickly. You need something to break up life and traveling is the perfect way to do it!

I’ve got you beat. Up until I was in junior high, every year we packed into the van and drove to visit relatives in Pennsylvania and upstate in New York. 3-4 days, both ways. And once I got into junior high, it became every other summer. (When I lived in Texas, we would also drive up to Utah once a year.) Now for me, a road trip doesn’t really start to be a road trip until you’ve been driving for at least 3 days.

We didn’t have air conditioning either. And in a van with vinyl seats, that gets pretty uncomfortable–it hurts to peel your legs off of the bench.

However, we never took a trampoline with us…

So Anna, I’m curious, what did you do for the 6 to 8 days in the car, other than taking turns asking “are we there yet?” Your parents must have been traveling pros.

Lesson 1: You must be a road trip novice. My family did nothing but extremely long road trips for years between Iowa and Utah for Summer and Christmas…and none of this two day junk. Get up at four, get to grandma’s by 10 (unless my brothers overload on pop). Long car trips aren’t my favorite way to travel but they aren’t that bad. You just make yourself stop looking at the clock…

Lesson 2: I don’t get car sick reading either, thank heaven. Otherwise I *would* hate long car trips. Though riding in a coach in England and reading nearly made me sick near the end of the trip-all those quick turns and narrow roads and such…ugh. Carsick is no fun.

Lesson 3: I agree. We just had our reunion last Saturday and it was pretty fun-I’m just glad I know my immediate family/extended family at all though, because I don’t know my extended-extended family very well at *all*. Hopefully that’ll change…apparently I’ve got a slew of cousins at the Y I didn’t know about.

Lesson 4: I’m surprised at you, Ben-people watcher that you are, you can’t enjoy the mall? It’s great to walk down the halls of a mall and catch snippets of people talking. I think it’s hilarious. And as far as I’m concerned as a person who would rather get things done quickly and efficiently…malls are the way to go. You use less gas that way, usually. And of course these places are going to be commercial…that’s kind of the point of a store isn’t it? But then, not liking a mall makes up for your liking many other girl-related things on the man scale, I suppose…

Lesson 5: I agree in some ways, but I need vacations every once in a while to remind me that ‘real life’ isn’t so bad. And I think vacations-especially with family-are completely necessary because they build memories and bonds in ways you don’t get at home. Vacations half *force* you to spend time together-it’s not always pleasant, I guess, but it’s not always all that bad either. I love our family vacations.

Not to make you jealous or anything, Ben, but I went on a vacation last week, also, to visit my sister in Signal Hill, California, and at 585 mph, my travel time was less than an hour and a half! It was great! It made me feel a little squeamish when I realized that those figures on the little screen in front of me including an altitude of over 30,000 ft were referring to the plane I was in, but I got over it. It’s not like I’d never flown before–I just didn’t know the slightly scarey details until this one. You sure did save a lot of money by 12 of you riding in your van, though, I bet, notwithstanding the high gas prices.

I’m glad you don’t get carsick anymore. That would be terrible! I think I might if I were reading in the car. I sure did when I was young. No problem in a plane, though.

I agree with you on family is good. I loved having a pretty good-sized get together in July with my son and his family from Arizona and two other married kids and their families who are here in Utah. We all had some days together and it was such fun. I loved having 12 little cousins get to see each other and play and taking pictures of them. It’s great being a grandma!

I do not like malls either. The atmosphere is very irritating and uncomfortable to me. I just don’t like being there. I really don’t like the other things you mentioned either: parties, wedding receptions, or parades. I have given myself permission to not like them much and not feel guilty about it over the years.

Finally, on your last item. How you feel about vacations reminds me of my dad and one of my son-in-laws. They would rather be home working on their many projects, etc. I’m thinking probably some of the other guys in the family show the same symptoms. Maybe it’s a guy thing. I’d say that real life is good and a vacation now and then makes it even better!

J: Oh, I read people, too. That’s what we writers do, always paying attention, always watching. And while I do make life an adventure wherever possible, I still find mall shopping to be a tedious drain, utterly at odds with my aesthetic senses. I mean, if I’m forced to go to one, I’ll survive, and I’ll make the best of it while I’m there, but I would never go to one unless I absolutely had to. :)

Janssen: Two responses. :) First, I do like being in other places — walking around the streets of Bangkok was amazing, and I’d love to see other parts of the world. It’s just the going to and fro that I don’t care for, at least the long legs of a journey. (Short trips aren’t bad. I loved riding around on the sam-laws and tuk-tuks in Thailand, wind blowing through my hair, zipping around motorcycles and buses and what have you. Ah, those were the days. But riding for extended periods of time, whether by car or by train or by plane, isn’t quite so fun, at least for me.) Second, I find that I somehow lack that need to get away from the normal routine. It’s as if I’m missing that section of programming in my brain; I don’t get tired of the routine. Rather, I thrive on it. But I have no trouble believing I’m a minority in that respect. :)

Anna: God was merciful in sending me to my family instead of yours. :P I bow down in humble defeat.

Joni: Again, God was merciful in sending me to my family instead of yours. :P Riding in a coach in England sounds like fun, as long it wasn’t for more than say twenty minutes at a time. How do extended and extended-extended differ? (Just curious.) I don’t have any cousins at all on my mom’s side, and only two living relatives directly related to her, so almost all of my extended family is rather lopsided on my dad’s end. As for enjoying the mall, I do enjoy the people-watching part of things, but the commercialness of it all (which is inherent, of course, and I realize that) is too much for me to handle. I’m glad not everyone feels that way. :) And I agree that vacations create bonds and memories that you don’t usually get otherwise. I got some of those this time round, and in the eternal scheme of things I suppose they were worth the accompanying pain and suffering of traveling. Now if only I could get rid of the bitter while holding onto the sweet… ;)

Shirley: Flying itself doesn’t really bother me, unless I think about what it would be like if we plummeted down to the surface below. Then it’s mildly disturbing. ;) What I don’t like about flying is having my legs scrunched up for long periods of time, and the seats are usually uncomfortable. And single, attractive girls never end up sitting next to me, either. :P (Actually, on the last leg of my flight home from Thailand, there was a rather cute girl next to me, the cousin of one of my friends. But I was a missionary.) I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds malls (et al.) irritating. And while there’s a huge amount of social pressure to attend those sorts of events and places, I think it’s healthy to realize and accept it if you don’t like them. One of these days I’ll write a diatribe against swimming. (And I honestly think that that’s the last of my pet peeves that everyone thinks I’m crazy for having. :P)

J–
My dad was always extremely dedicated to getting there as soon as possible, so we always drove until about 1 am, checked into a hotel, and then took off at 6. We had a van with a large back, so we would put down sleeping bags and stock up on lots of different games (travel Clue and Monopoly are not good ideas). Klutz company makes a lot of great books for kids on road trips. We read A LOT–no TVs or Nintendos or anything like that. And played the billboard game. And the license plate game (these trips were the one and only time my family ever played games). And we fought of course, but my parents didn’t put up w/ a whole lot of that, for their own sanity. And now we all (except my dad) try to spend as much of our summer driving as many places around the country as possible. It’s a familial addiction–I think that those trips ensured that we all would have extremely restless blood. Besides, how else can you discover a replica of Stonehenge built entirely out of old cars, or a colony of German immigrants who lived the law of consecration until the 1920s, or a tiny Amish village in Missouri that sells fantastic wooden picnic baskets? And, if you live in the West, you’ve got to drive about that far to see any fireflies.

Addendum:
Nebraska isn’t the most exciting drive when one is 8, but it beats my mom’s family road trips when she was a kid–from Minnesota, across the Dakotas, down to Idaho, and then up to Montana. Not as long, but the Dakotas are pretty flat.

Personally, I wouldn’t bring the TV or Nintendos along, either. But then again I’m going to do my best to keep TVs out of my house entirely to begin with — my children will grow up on books. (Granted, I can’t control what they do at their friends’ homes, but in my house, books will be the rule and not the exception.) I’ll grant that traveling like that does indeed proffer fascinating sights like you’ve mentioned, and it’s almost enough to convince me that long drives are worth it. If only teleports worked…