Janet: I agree that we need to “shop around,” certainly. My post was more from the perspective of after you’ve shopped around enough to know what you want, though. :)

David: Oh, yes, I’m learning. Sometimes I wish I could get it all at once instead of this line-upon-line business, but Father knows best. :)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ca5be2270ed6c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1

“if we follow the guidance we received early on to date many people until we find someone we want to date exclusively–then things can tend to progress naturally, and the relationship will be defined in due course.”

I like Granny Smith and Braburn apples. I can’t stand the mushy texture of the Delicious variety and I far prefer Elberta peaches to apples, but raspberries are my favorite fruit. Now if I had to choose one and only fruit to eat for all eternity, I think that I would take the time to visit more than the taste of the fruits because nutrition and shelf life are also critical elements to consider.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a talk “Push Back Against the World” that can be found at this link: http://speeches.byu.edu/rss/podcast2.xml where he refers to the dating guidelines Joe mentioned in the preface to his talk. Elder Oaks also gave some interesting counsel to young women in regards to expectations when they are asked on a date. “To go on a date is not to imply a continuing commitment…Dating was an opportunity to get to know one another better and not an immediate commitment to a long term relationship or marriage… Simple and more frequent dates allow both men and women to shop around in a way that allows extensive evaluation of the prospects.”

As far as actions go, and your theory of “Playing Games,” consider this: by asking someone on a date, your interest in them is implied, especially if you continue to ask them out (as you mentioned). The problem that guys run into all too often though is that we trip all over ourselves in trying to express our interest, and overwhelm the girls in question. A lot of this is taken care of if we follow the guidance we received early on to date many people until we find someone we want to date exclusively–then things can tend to progress naturally, and the relationship will be defined in due course. For those of us who dislike the very notion of dating more than one person (me especially), that’s where the challenge lies–overcoming our own high interest level so that it does not get in the way of her actually starting to like you.

Anyhoo, I agree though–in a perfect world, it would be open and honest–unfortunately, well, we all know how it is :).

Katherine: Personally, I can handle open and honest just fine, but most people seem to be uncomfortable with that. That’s not necessarily a bad thing — it’s just different, that’s all. But I’m glad to find that I’m not alone in being more for open and honest. :)

sixline: Also very true. It’s too bad my internal chronometer got dashed to pieces when they installed the pacemaker… :P

I think the problem comes in trying to apply general principles to individuals. You never know how someone is going to react. Also, girls will react differently depending on the situation. For example, most girls feel much more comfortable with openness when they’re already interested in the fellow. Less so when they’re not. So, it’s tricky.

I agree with you; Actions are more subtle and often more meaningful than words, and usually leave room for more interpretation. That’s hard to deal with for over-analyzers who prefer “open and honest” communication (read “DTR after one or two dates”).

Admittedly, I was always more on the “open and honest” end of the continuum, though I didn’t mind a little ambiguity for the first few dates. Janssen was the same way, so it worked well.