The gift of belief

One of my mom’s friends recently wrote her a letter explaining why she (the friend) had recently decided to leave the Church. I’ve had other friends do likewise, and interestingly enough, they’ve said a lot of the same things, mostly boiling down to this: they ran the calculations and got a different answer.

In a way this slightly bothers me — this is the truth, so shouldn’t everyone get the same answer? But at the same time I can’t in good conscience brush these people aside, saying they’re in sin, or ignoring the truth that’s staring them in the face, or whatever. That might be the case, of course, but it also might not. Fairness demands that I try to see things from their perspective.

I’ve tried, and yet I haven’t felt my faith shaken in the slightest. I don’t understand the difference in our results, and the ambiguity here doesn’t bother me that much, but yesterday I stumbled across a scripture that made some sense out of it:

To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful. (D&C 46:13–14)

For some, like me, it’s really easy to believe. It’s never been hard. I’ve never doubted the existence of God or Christ or the reality of the restored Church. Sure, I’ve questioned God’s timetable for my marriage ;), but I’ve never really thought, “God isn’t there. He’s not listening.” That’s just not me.

For others, though, it seems like it’s just not that easy. And I don’t think that means something’s wrong with them. I’m not really sure what it means, to be honest, but I’m okay with that. The earth is teeming with a variety of people, so staggeringly different and yet unmistakably part of the same human family. It’s beautiful. Sure, I wish everyone alive could easily see the joy of the gospel and how much it means to me and how much of a difference it could make in their lives. But that’s not how things are. And you know, the world’s more interesting that way. :)

I’d be careful with your interpretation of the D&C scripture. I think it’s saying, in regards to the understanding of truth, “Some will know directly through the Holy Ghost; others will know through the testimony of their peers.” Those are two ways to gain a testimony of the truth. I don’t think it’s implying that to some it is given to know, and to some it’s just not given to know. I don’t really see God giving the gift of “not recognizing the truth” to some of his children. Same thing with the marriage timetable of God. I don’t think God has decided that you should be single right now; sometimes human agency doesn’t yield the results we want! The Lord, through various means, grants truth to those who earnestly seek it. Gospel truth is truth for everyone; whether or not they recognize it as such is another story. You are right though, there are plentiful reasons why people don’t recognize the truth of the gospel. However, I do not believe God created some people to be more inclined to turn their hearts from the truth.

“They’ve said a lot of the same things, mostly boiling down to this: they ran the calculations and got a different answer.” This is not math! Math is an exact science. Obviously they were NOT using the same equation that was used by someone who has the “Gift of Belief.” There are a lot of ways to arrive at the answer of 100% but if THE ANSWER IS 100% and you come up with a different answer, your answer is false and you need to check your equation, the order of operations, your calculations…

The scriptures are full of qualifiers that one must apply to get the right answers. It has been my observation over time that those who “ran the calculations and got a different answer” got the answer they were looking for or the only answer they were capable of deriving because they hadn’t applied themselves to the study, obedience and faith.

God is not a liar. For anyone to assume that God’s children could run any calculation for belief and get a conflicting answers would be to assume that God didn’t tell the truth to someone or the other. I would assume that someone other than God was the one with a false answer.

Ben, this is an excellent post.

Quickness to judge is one of the things I’ve tried hardest to change in myself as I’ve noticed it (and disliked it) in others. Sometimes we don’t realize our own weaknesses and hypocrisies until we glimpse them through the lens of our fellow men. I think it shows great wisdom to have taken the time to think through the issues like you have here.

Ben, this has also been an issue that has puzzled me - not so much troubled me - for years. I also know people who have had the truth, lived it for most of their lives, and then let it fall by the wayside and say they “just don’t believe it anymore.” I’ve also read the D&C scripture you mention here and it has helped me to understand to some small degree. We are imperfect beings and we tend to forget many things. My faith in the LDS religion, as a child, completely depended upon the words and testimony of my parents, Sunday school teacher, and others who were “older and wiser.” But the time eventually came that I had to figure out if I only had a testimony of the testimony of others or if I knew “of a surety” for myself. It was a terrible struggle, but I came to know, eventually, and am no longer dependent on my mother’s example for faith. So I wonder if those who have sometimes stepped away do so because they never learned to stop depending on the testimony of others. Yet this scripture quoted seems to indicate that this kind of testimony is okay with the Lord. Hm. Still thinking on this one, and grateful I am not the one who must decide what it all means. :-)

Ah, Ben, today you’ve made me feel theologically conservative. Ben Crowder of all people. Never thought I’d see the day. :-)

Concerning the issue of belief, I’ve been through the exact same thought process–maybe I’ve just been given the gift of believing. I’ve never seriously doubted that God exists and that he is good. I still do think that my faith is a gift. However, I would have to agree with Hilary that God doesn’t give some people gifts and just deny others–especially when it comes to something as vital as faith in Christ. We’re talking about spiritual progression and eternal salvation here. It’s my understanding that God–in his infinite mercy–gives everyone gifts that they qualify themselves for. I also have friends and family who seem to have difficulty believing, but ultimately, the choice is up to them. They can choose to believe or they can choose to not believe. The scriptures tell us that when we ask in faith, God answers prayers. It’s unequivocal (even if interpreting those answers is terribly tricky). And while I feel sympathetic to those who have concerns about church policy, history, and culture, I have too much experience with seeing how developing a relationship with Christ and making and keeping covenants helps people–that I can’t believe that a merciful God would purposely make these things more difficult than they have to be (which isn’t to say that they aren’t difficult).

I realize that your thoughts on this issue are still being formed and refined, and I agree with rikker that thinking this through indicates maturity on your part–a desire to withhold judgment in the attempt to understand and love others better, and to not feel superior merely because something comes so much more easily to you than it does to others. Definitely a positive thing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

“The earth is teeming with a variety of people, so staggeringly different and yet unmistakably part of the same human family.”

Ben, that was beautiful. If only more Mormons and post-Mormons would try to see each other as human, as “thou.” Too many regard each other as invalid, unimportant, inhuman, “it.”

So many relationships do not survive the walloping shock of religious disagreement. But if your attitude catches on–maybe it won’t always have to be that way!

Your ability to tolerate complexity and ambiguity is rare, and it speaks to your character. Sincere thanks for this post.

Some questions:

Do you believe that God, through the power of the Holy Ghost, would give a person a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the truthfulness of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and later tell them through that same power that the gospel and the church are not true? Why or why not?

Do you believe that a person who has a testimony, a sincere heart, faith in Christ and real intent could “run the calculations” a second time and get a different (negative) answer? Why or why not?

If you have a testimony and have made baptismal covenants, do you believe that you have any obligation to stand as a witness in all things, in all times and in all places to help reclaim the lost sheep?

Do you believe that it is in anyway intolerant to lovingly try to reclaim lost sheep?

Sure “the earth is teeming with a variety of people, so staggeringly different and yet unmistakably part of the same human family. It’s beautiful. Sure, I wish everyone alive could easily see the joy of the gospel and how much it means to me and how much of a difference it could make in their lives. But that’s not how things are. And you know, the world’s more interesting that way.” This is true, and those who die without a knowledge of the gospel will have a chance in the next life. That is what temple work for the dead is for. However, there is no second chance for those who reject the gospel in this life or apostatize and die unrepentant. Elder Bruce R. McConkie talks about this in his address, The Seven Deadly Heresies.http://speeches.byu.edu/rss/podcast1.xml. If you believe these words of an apostle of Jesus Christ, wouldn’t it be an act of love rather than intolerance to try to redeem a lost soul? Why did the apostles preach “hard things” to rid their garments of the blood and sins of the world?

We are all on a collision course with an eternal destiny. One would think that someone with a testimony would do all that is in their power to insure that their friends and loved ones collision will be one of exaltation.

Here’s the thing. For some people, our version of “Lovingly trying to reclaim lost sheep” comes across as trying to force their opinions back to our side. I agree that we still have to love them, and invite them to come back and feel of the spirit when they can. However, I believe that there will also be accountability at the last day for those of us who drove people further away from the Gospel through our efforts to reclaim them.

When it comes down to it, our first duty is to love our neighbor in this circumstance. We can live by example, pray for them, invite them to activities, and all of that, but I think it is important to balance that with focusing on ourselves and our own testimony as well. Yes, there will be accountability for us if we did not do our part to reclaim the lost sheep, but I think we sometimes become overzealous in our attempts–and that is where intolerance comes in.

I know that when I was inactive (not long after I was baptized) I would have run the other way as fast as I could have if people had tried to pressure me to come back. As it was, the new Elder’s Quorum President showed up at my door one evening on his rounds to meet his quorum members. He didn’t know I was inactive (at least so he claimed), but he invited me back to church and I took him up on it. It was the second best choice I ever made (the first being baptism).

Ben–

The thing to remember is that we all have to gain our own testimonies. Some people spend their lives living on the testimony of others. The Father gives to all those who ask with real intent, “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” (James 1:6)

It’s not necessarily that they are in sin or otherwise–it could be that their testimony was not as strong to begin with. Elder McConkie is right–but that is to those who have a complete knowledge of the Gospel, a strong personal testimony, and the full witness of the Holy Ghost, and still reject it. Only the Lord knows who those are. We do not. Or, more easily put, you can’t really reject something you don’t truly understand.

The Lord knows best–he teaches with Milk before Meat. And most of the teaching we will receive in this life is milk. I always look to the story about President McKay, shortly before the end of his life, speaking to the brethren about the Endowment ceremony: “Brethren, I think I’m finally beginning to understand.” To have the perfect or complete knowledge at this stage in this life would condemn most of us–which is why we learn line upon line and precept upon precept. And the Lord only reveals the next line to us when He believes we are ready to receive it. So, your friends might jut need more faith before they can receive the testimony that they need. And that part is up to them.

I’m glad it isn’t for us to judge who is condemned or not condemned for deciding to leave the Church. The reasons people hold to or reject the Gospel run deep, even hidden.

What is for us to do? Love them. Love is no easy matter, so I’m grateful that we have a Guide. (Moroni 7:45-48) Love invites people to participate fully in what is true and good. And even when they decline, love remains a friend, and as Ben has exemplified, love sees the greatness in every human soul.

“In a way this slightly bothers me — this is the truth, so shouldn’t everyone get the same answer?”

Yes! It is the truth…and everyone should get the same answer… To know this has nothing to do with love or judgment, condemning or accepting. To know this is to have a testimony of and faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ and an understanding of the principles governing revelation. What one does with that knowledge is entirely a separate matter altogether.

First, I didn’t mean that to some it is given to believe, and to others it is given not to believe. I meant that it’s easier for some people to believe and that it’s harder for others. Big difference there. :)

Second, God does of course give everyone an equal chance. Considering the practically infinite variety of conditions here on earth, though, we really can’t see how things equal out. We can guess, but we don’t really come close. Does a Rwandan Hutu child born into a life of fear and violence have the same chance as I do, born to a middle-class American LDS family? I think we can safely answer yes — if God is fair — but as to how it works, we have no idea. None.

Third, because we’re pretty much oblivious to all the background data, we can’t judge. The Lord judges, not us. All we can do is love and try to understand as best we can. That means that when somebody falls away, we can’t just label them as “sinner” or what have you. We don’t know all the reasons. We can guess, but we’re going to be wrong — I guarantee it. The people themselves don’t even know all the reasons. We humans are complex creatures.

Fourth, this doesn’t mean we abandon them to their life of unbelief. But it does mean that we don’t force-feed the gospel back down their throats. Like Joe said, that often does more harm than good. Some things take time. We need to follow the Spirit — and make sure that it is the Spirit that we’re following and not our own feelings. (The closer the person is to us, the harder it may be to tell the difference.)

Fifth, for a completely speculative thought on why some find it easier to believe and others do not, perhaps it’s something we earned in the pre-mortal existence, based on our actions there. It would absolve God of playing favorites, and would instead shift the onus straight onto us for what we’ve done and continue to do. It would also, however, make it all too easy for us to judge each other and say so-and-so was more righteous in the pre-mortal existence because of blah-blah-blah, yadda yadda and so on. That’s not right.

Sixth, this ties back in to my second point: it is a fact that some people find it easier to believe, and others do not, but it is not a fact that we know why or how. :)

Mmm I’m still gonna have to call you on this one.

There’s agency. There aren’t these cosmic forces that act on people to take away their faith. Take for example my mother’s parents. When they were married, they were both inactive in the Church. A few years before my mother was born, my grandparents took their two children at the time to the temple and were sealed together and embarked on this life in the Church. Ten years later, they were living in Pleasant Grove, Utah, and members of their ward treated them awfully. My grandfather is illiterate, my grandmother is a high school drop-out, and they were both working odd jobs to raise four wild kids who were constantly in trouble. The ward ostracized and ridiculed them; ultimately, they got offended, “felt” the Church wasn’t true, and left the Church.

It would be convenient to blame the members of the ward, but in the end, it was my grandparents’ choice to disobey commandments and break covenants. My grandma, who is active in the Church again now, is very open about the fact that she has hurt generations to come because of her choice. The struggles of some of her grandchildren already confirm that to her. During high school, I had my own stint of inactivity that lasted a couple of years. I clung to my claim that I had sought out truth, and the Church wasn’t it. But you know, I was not keeping the commandments. I was not living a clean, honest life. So of course I couldn’t get an answer from the Holy Ghost as to whether or not the Church standards I’m not living are true!

I feel like I must clarify that, in relation to your first post, I’m talking only about members of the Church who, after a period of activity, decide the Church isn’t true.

Okay, so my points: 1) Good, righteous people don’t wake up one day and abandon the Church; I think you’d be hard-pressed to find someone in that situation. Maybe they’re out there, but in my experience it is more likely that there are other factors of unworthiness or desire for sin (sorry to be blunt, but that’s what I’ve seen) that cause people to turn away. 2) You know that I’m right there beside you with being patient and loving to people who find it hard to believe, for whatever reason. But I think we should be wary of “coddling” those who were believing one day, and unbelieving the next. There are ways of being persistent without being obnoxious or overbearing. But I think the Lord expects those to whom he has sent a witness to uphold that and stand by it. Walking away from that responsibility is a big deal.

Well Ben, now I feel like a crazy person. So to top it off, I’ll play devil’s advocate: Just because it is “given to believe,” is it necessarily “easier to believe”?

“So of course I couldn’t get an answer from the Holy Ghost as to whether or not the Church standards I’m not living are true!”

I think there’s something to what you say, but it needs clarification. Otherwise how do explain how investigators (who are certainly not living the full gospel program, but who are also not under covenant to do so) get witnesses from the Holy Ghost? I’m worried that your remarks will be taken to mean that the Holy Ghost only witnesses to the righteous. The Holy Ghost witnesses to everyone, but only abides with the righteous. I agree with you that the Holy Ghost may remain silent when you are seeking an answer on a specific issue you are willfully disobeying, but I also think that has to do with insincerity to receive an answer, not with the Holy Ghost’s inability to testify to sinners or anything like that.

“1) Good, righteous people don’t wake up one day and abandon the Church;”

That is an unacceptable premise right there, if only from uncareful choice of language. It’s far too simplistic a way of looking at things, not to mention that it opens a dangerously gaping door for judgmental assumptions about the righteousness of others.

By the same token, do good, righteous people never reject a chance to hear the gospel? I would claim that it’s obvious that we can’t assume that everyone who has ever said no to a missionary or to a member friend’s invitation is damned if they die the next day. There are too many missionaries who are poor vessels for the word. If I see you kick my dog one day and knock on my door the next, of course I’m going to say no. And I like to believe that God would hold the thoughtless member accountable for that before the other person. Of course, this is a different from the scenario of leaving the church from offense, but I don’t the two issues are unrelated.

I have a strong distaste for hasty rhetoric that is dismissive of the complexities of our mortal experience. We honestly don’t know. So many things the prophets have said have turned out to be the incomplete picture before that I’m not willing to stake anyone’s salvation on it. Be kind, do what you can, but I don’t think it helps when folks go overboard because you’re 100% certain that this is so-and-so’s last chance to get off the train to damnationville. Sometimes time really is what people need. It just depends.

Hilary: Oh, I’m not shifting the blame off of them — each person is responsible for their own actions, period. Nor am I fan of coddling. Cuddling, perhaps, but not coddling. Sorry, bad joke. :)

Anyway, yes, it’s usually seemed to me that unworthiness or sin has been what has driven people away, and perhaps that covers the majority of the cases. (I know, for example, that when I purposely sin, I feel further away from the Spirit and less connected to the gospel and Church.) But what about the minority, those “G-rated” people who fall away without considering their newfound exclusion a golden ticket to all the carnal pleasures of the world? What it seems to come down to for me, at least, is this: if I assume that apostates fall away because they had some pet sin they wanted to commit without guilt, then I find myself judging. And it’s the Lord’s place to judge, not mine, so I prefer leaving that assumption at the door. And I haven’t yet found any disadvantages to doing so. :)

As for doing what we can to save the lost souls, I agree that there are ways to be persistent and yet not obnoxious or overbearing. (Wait, I think I…you know, it looks like I’ve actually wrote a play about this very thing. :P)

I completely agree that the Lord expects us to stand as witnesses of Him at all times and in all places. But when I was on my mission, trying to find, understand, and reactivate less-active members, I learned pretty quickly that the Church is a very sensitive subject for many of them (though not all!), like the skin around an infection. I’m not advocating giving up.

Yes, sometimes somebody is spiritually asleep and what they need is precisely a spiritual kick in the shins. But that seems to be the exception rather than the rule. Most of the time we need something softer and subtler — not hiding the gospel by any means, but letting it come out as a natural expression of who we are and of the life we lead. Because if we really are living the gospel, it’s going to be part of who we are and we won’t be able to not let it shine through.

It’s the “show, don’t tell” of the writer — stories snag our hearts far more easily than doctrine, for example. You can say, “Resurrection means body and spirit coming back together and living again,” and that’s good, but what’s better is relating how Jesus died in pain on the cross, how his followers lovingly carried his body away to the tomb and covered it with the shroud, how Mary returned on the third day and found the angels declaring that “He is risen!”, and how Jesus then appeared to his disciples and showed them the wounds in his hands and in his feet. That sticks to the human heart far more tangibly than doctrine alone will ever do.

Which doesn’t mean that we can’t talk about the Church with those who’ve fallen away. We just have to tread carefully, following the Spirit very closely so we don’t botch things up in our attempt to do good. :) (One last thing: somebody getting mad at our testimony of the gospel doesn’t necessarily mean that we were at fault. Scriptural evidence to the contrary abounds. But that doesn’t mean we can’t go about it the wrong way.)

Rikker: I agree, it does seem that there are far too many variables involved to damn someone solely on a single “no” to the missionaries — what if they were simply having a bad day? I’m not saying that God can’t damn them — He’s free to do what He wants, and whatever He wants is right — but with my limited understanding it seems that there’s probably more to the prophetic statements than we realize. Which means I’m quite content to withhold any judgment. Observations are fine, sure, but I honestly don’t know what happens to the people who reject the gospel, with all of the shades of “reject” that that implies (the spectrum is wide and covers a lot of ground). Maybe it only means people who Reject the gospel, after repeated and sustained contact. I don’t know. And I’m fine with not knowing. My job is to follow Christ, let His light shine in me, and bear testimony the best way I know how to.

This comment is way too long. :)

“I agree, it does seem that there are far too many variables involved to damn someone solely on a single “no” to the missionaries —”

I think that it is important to differentiate between rejecting the missionaries and rejecting the gospel. Rejecting the gospel implies that the gospel has been taught.

The key to missionary work whether it be for reactivation or proselyting is personal worthiness, charity, inspiration, perseverance, long suffering and a sense of humor. I am reminded of two missionaries who knocked the door of a duplex. The front yard was fenced gated and divided in half. A woman answered the door and cussed them out as she chased them off her property. The missionaries were a bit shaken but proceeded to knock the door of her neighbor. When the same woman answered the other door, one of the missionaries said something like “We are missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and we have a special message for you and we hope that you are as nasty and mean to us as your next door neighbor was.” The woman laughed, let them in and later joined the church.

I also think that if we understand that any choice that takes one away from the iron rod is a choice that requires repentance (correction), we can then understand that gross sin and slight neglect can both lead to apostasy. It doesn’t matter why one is lost in the mist of darkness, they are in need of the iron rod (word of God) to get back on course. Example: My home teacher persisted with his monthly visits for ten years before I finally came to my senses and went back to church. I had a testimony but was choosing my husband over the lord.

At a time when the the cops apologized to my husband for having to arrest him after he almost killed me and waited until he had his shower and breakfast before arresting him, my home teacher had the courage to go to our Karate School to bluntly call my husband to repent. Wow! When some timid souls didn’t want to offend me with the word, my home teacher went to battle and pulled me (a lamb who strayed) out of the mouth of a wolf. My favorite hymn is I Stand All Amazed… I will be eternally grateful for this wonderful majestic man and never felt the least bit offended by his efforts.

ok, I didn’t read all the comments–sorry (they were so long!)–but wanted to comment nonetheless. My apologies if I am simply repeating what has already been said.

I have often pondered upon this idea: how it is possible for some to not get the same answer I have received over and over again. How someone can simply stop believing. There are so many variables to the answers to these questions. For me, however, it always goes back to motivation. I think of the words in Moroni 10:4, “pure intent.” The promise can only work if we want to actually act upon the answer. That sounds presumptuous, and I don’t mean it to be. There are few things in my life that I have given more thought to than my motives. I have found that I am inherently selfish. No matter how I try to live with my eye single to the glory of God, other motivations sneak in there. Not all of them are bad, they just aren’t at that level of purity yet. I don’t know a single living person with truly pure motives. I don’t mean that condemning, either. Simply true. It is so overwhelming to me to have everything in my life “single to the glory of God.” I believe, with a lot of help from the atonement, that it is possible, but I’m not there yet.

With that said, we not only have to want to believe, we have to be ready to live that belief. It is such a terribly huge leap of faith, such an inhuman thing to do. I imagine that for so many it is not a matter of desire, but of fear. Fear of the unknown; fear of change; fear of things not turning out how we might want them to. A mixture of motives, with an unintentional larger percent on something other than the will of God. More than not, we don’t even realize it either. We think our motives are pure, but lurking on the surface is pride, fear, a desire for recognition, a sense of duty, and on.

I agree with you that there are so many good people, and that the diversity of us is what makes life so interesting. And perhaps what I have just said is the same as what you were saying all along–I don’t know.

Janet: Again, cases vary. I still think that coming off too strong can easily be a deterrent keeping people away from the gospel. You have to be very sure that it’s the Spirit guiding you and not just your own passions. I’m talking from my own experience here. :)

Carly: It’s true, the comments on this post have certainly tended to be longish. I wonder why that is… :) I like what you said about pure intent, particularly about how our motives are far more mixed than we often realize. And how that doesn’t necessarily condemn us — that’s just how it is. And perhaps that’s how falling away begins: more and more things take precedence among our motives, things that aren’t God…

Ben, you are right about that last point. But it’s not completely subconscious, I don’t think. It’s more like an experiment. A person–perhaps a person who is feeling freaked out about something in mormonism, and has been unsuccessful in getting her critical top-priority questions answered–thinks, “I wonder what would happen if I took god out of the equation here.” And then when her life starts to improve, she thinks, “I wonder what would happen if I took god out of the equation here too.” And it goes on like that, and pretty soon, the results of the experiment are pretty compelling. The person is happy, when she wasn’t before. She may be open to new evidence from the LDS side, but it has to be better than what she already has.

I think the key to tolerance for Mormons is to live the 11th article of faith–the one that says “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.” I wish that this article said something about letting people not worship, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.

There’s a slide show somewhere out there in cyberspace called “Why They Leave,” created by an active LDS guy John Dehlin. I think it only gets at one facet of the apostasy process, but it is impressively insightful for someone who is still faithful. It may be useful for LDSs who are interested in understanding the phenomenon better.

Thanks for the heads up — it’s at MormonStories.org, and I haven’t watched it yet because it only works in IE on a PC — and I use Firefox on the Mac. (And the YouTube video it links to is an hour along and I’m going to bed. :))

When someone falls away, I think there are two competing feelings — one is to let them be (and we certainly should respect their decision since they do of course have the freedom to worship as they may), and the other is the divine mandate to find the lost sheep and bring them in. I don’t think apostates can really fault us for trying, since it is one of our core beliefs; but I do think we can try to go about it in a way that is least offensive. Or most effective, rather. :)