Finding time

Yesterday I came across a great post by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits on ten ways to find time for your family — no matter how busy you are.

Even though I don’t have a wife or kids yet, almost all of Leo’s tips are equally applicable to me. Prioritizing commitments, doing less, focusing on the biggest impact, cutting out distractions, etc. — I can use all of these as I am right now. And I’m giddy just thinking about it.

You know, in reading blogs and books about productivity — I just started David Allen’s Getting Things Done again this week, after only getting halfway through it the first time — I occasionally catch myself considering tips like these to be too much system and not enough result. Like…I don’t know, like multi-level marketing or something. But a lot of this productivity obsession really does produce results.

Yes, I’m obsessed. Not to an unhealthy point, I don’t think, but I’m certainly riveted by discussions on how to do more, or do it better. And even those on how to do less. :) For me it feels like a journey toward reality, towards the way life really ought to be. It’s about “getting real.”

Most of us go about life in an ordinary way most of the time, and that’s good. But we’ve got so much more potential than we realize, and it’s that idea that drives me to seek out the better way. Or better ways, rather, because they vary for everyone, and even for ourselves as time crawls and sprints its way toward eternity. The point isn’t that we’re not doing enough; the point is that we could be doing so much more.

Except, as I mentioned earlier, “so much more” doesn’t necessarily mean more. It may mean simplification. Paring down. Stripping off the crufty peel and getting straight to the core — the stuff that really matters.

The idea is to live life better. To really live it, rather than letting it live us. And that’s worth our attention — and our effort.

Ben, I am sorry I keep commenting on your blog, considering I don’t actually know you. I stumbled across it and have sort of become an overnight fan. Anyhow, I just want to say that I agree. It is so easy to get caught up in the rush of everything there is to do, to know, to see, to learn… the list goes on… that we get distracted from the real point. We stop actually living.

I think we have to be careful to not, like you said, get so caught up in doing more, but to focus on the things that matter most–which inevitably revolve around blessing and building the lives of others. I see the “living life better” and even the level of productivity in my life go up when I am not focused on what I can do or how it will bless me, but rather focused on what I can do to help someone else. Even if the activities benefit me simultaneously. It’s all about why we do what do; why we spend the time the way we choose to. I have found that when my motives are in the right place, my productivity blossoms and I do not feel cheated by days that are just too short.

No worries, Carly, comments are what keep blogs alive — carry on. :) (And blogs aren’t a bad way to make new friends, actually. It’s quite legit.)

I agree that the things that matter most revolve around doing good for and to others. In a word: love. Love is what matters most. You can call it charity, but for me “love” is a far more potent word that still gets the same message across. Real love — Christlike love — is almost omnipotent, both in radiating strength out to those it touches and in stretching our souls as wide as the universe. Love is the single most important thing, period. Period. And that’s what living is all about. Everything else is just ashes in comparison.

Knowing that is easy. But remembering it on a daily basis, and letting it influence all my actions, even when it’s hard…that’s the kicker. But when love guides our path, it’s as if God himself is the spirit inside us, lifting our arms and moving our lips as we build his kingdom. It’s wonderful. :)

…considering I don’t actually know you.

But does anyone really know anyone else?

(We now pause while everyone contemplates the new clarity they have received from my wisdom…)

:P

Hi Ben,

Interesting post. I’ve always wondered about this part of you–the part that is driven, driven to achieve. I don’t think I’m the only one! This post explains it a little bit. I used to worry about you burning out but now I’m thinking high productivity is just one of your unique personality traits. We are very different in this aspect! I used to feel very pressured to be as busy as possible–especially in high school and undergrad. For example, when other people would talk about working 40 hours a week while taking eighteen credit hours and running a club on the side–I would get all panicky and think, oh my gosh I’m so lazy only taking 12 credit hours and working part time. But after trying to up the ante I realized that everyone has a different threshold. I have always needed a significant amount of time to breathe, be with my husband, and especially to think. It’s about learning who you are and what you need to do to create a high-quality life for yourself.

“But when love guides our path, it’s as if God himself is the spirit inside us, lifting our arms and moving our lips as we build his kingdom.”

Yes. Thank you for saying it so beautifully. It’s true. And everything we do in our lives–the little and mundane right along with anything we may do of recognizable greatness–must be focus on that cause, that purpose, that end. With an eye single to the Glory of God.

School, work, grocery shopping, passing conversations, reading, writing, cooking, cleaning, activities and fund raisers, Sunday meetings, and morning scripture study are all part of building the kingdom. It is what Annie Dillard calls “living lives of single necessity.” It’s not that we spend every waking second of our lives reading the scriptures or in a ward council meeting (although both good things to do :) ), but that we live our lives focused. And for me that focus comes when I realize for the millionth time that, “It’s not about me anymore.” It is, as you said, letting love–for God, for others–guide our path. Easier said than remembered and applied, but, again, infinitely worth the effort.

ps. Thanks letting my join the conversation :)

I don’t really have anything to contribute to this discussion, given that I’m maybe the worst manager of time on the planet, but I really like the website Zen Habits. I just stumbled across it a week or two ago, and it’s very GTD-focused (which I love).
Thank you for the brief interjection. Return to deep thoughts.

I like your thoughts on love. One of my favorite quotes is “True love is purposeless and useless”. It doesn’t mean what you might think it mean on the surface, if you know what I mean :P.

To me, it means that love is its own reward, it guides and creates our lives, and it reflects our true natures without any particular purpose or use (think, having a purpose such as wanting something in return). And when we are motivated by real love, all good things are joys to do, not burdens. Real love actualizes people.

Rikker: Good point. But we have to pretend as if we do, or we’d go mad. :P

Ali: Exactly — it’s not about how much we do, really, it’s about whether we fulfill the measure of our creation, our life’s mission, that sort of thing. And we’re all different.

Carly: Doing everything with an eye single to the glory of God is difficult, but it is, like you say, worth it. (At least that’s been my experience in those brief moments when I’ve managed to pull it off before lapsing back into my normal state.) Once you get there, though, it does become easier, I think, because it’s no longer something you do, it’s something you are. It’s just how you act and react. You don’t even have to think about it. That’s my goal. :)

M: Haha, I really like Zen Habits, too. I stumbled across it the day before I wrote this post, and I wish I’d found it earlier. It’d be nice to pull together a list of the best productivity sites — like Lifehacker and 43 Folders and Zen Habits. I’m betting somebody’s already done it, too. :)

Sean: That’s a really good quote — I like it. :) Real love completely changes things. It casts a whole new light on life, making it a joy — like you say — instead of drudgery. Love is amazing.