Taking the exit

So, I, um, dropped out of grad school today.

Technically, I only e-mailed my professors today to notify them, and I won’t be calling the school till Monday to make it official, but the line has been drawn, the lot cast, my road forked. I’ve taken the step and, as far as I’m concerned, I’m past the point of no return. ;)

Why? It’s not because I have (er, had) a twelve-page paper due Monday. Really. :) (Though I’m very glad now that I don’t have to write that paper.)

The core reason is that over the past couple months I’ve realized that I need to be making things for a living. Particularly books. Libraries are wonderful places, but they don’t make books — publishing companies do. And so I’m going into publishing. I’m also going to be writing, with the eventual goal of being able to spend more time on that than on the publishing. But that’s very long-term.

Anyway, with a new destination, it didn’t make a lot of sense to keep plodding down the same old path, getting that master’s in library science. If I’m not going to use it, it’s not very useful. And it’d be wasting money — the scholarship money that was paying for me, BYU’s money, everybody’s money. Not to mention wasting time — time better spent learning the craft I’m actually going to be using in my work.

But don’t I need a backup plan? Shouldn’t I have just finished the MLS anyway, just in case?

Perhaps I ought to mention here that I never graduated from high school. :) I went to high school for the full time, but as my senior year wound to an end, I found that I was short one credit of P.E. and half a credit of health. But I wanted to take AP English Language, and so I did. Without enough credits to graduate, I couldn’t, and so I didn’t. And didn’t care, really — I’d already gotten accepted to BYU, already had a scholarship, and nowhere did it say that either of those was contingent upon my graduating. Now, a bachelor’s degree later, I was right. They never asked.

All of which is the long way of saying that this won’t be the first time. ;) Sure, I feel kind of bad dropping out, but I’m following my heart, doing what I was made for. I can’t not do this.

And no, I don’t really feel like I need a backup plan. I have more confidence in myself than that. :) (I’m willing to work my tail off to make this happen, in other words.)

Wow, Ben. That must have taken guts.

But you’re right: if you won’t use it, why get it.

Congrats. :)

Wow, Ben. I can remember you talking about the MLS a couple years back now. Having said that…good for you! It sounds like you’ve thought his out and you’re following your heart.

wow, just wow.

way to discover what you really want to be doing and way to go for it!

Oh good. You never seemed to fit the librarian mold, since you were always so busy creating instead of indexing other people’s creations. Good on you.

Good for you, Ben. I’m currently in a debate about whether or not to pursue what I really want - a Ph.D. in English - or do something that will pay the bills sooner and easier, so I appreciate your example of pursuing your dream. I hope you make it.

Nice work, Ben!
Now, get a-publishing!

!!!

Ben, you are completely made of win. Way to be.

I sort of did the same thing when I took 2 years off from BYU to piece my life back together. Now I have one year left till I graduate, and looking back, taking the road less traveled by, has made all the difference

Congratulations! I tell you what, life decisions are killer. Jumping in with both feet and not looking back (and working your tail off if needed) is the only way to go. Best of luck to you!

Alyssa: Thanks. :)

Sean: Yes, at the time it was the right thing for me, but I’ve changed and it’s no longer for me. :)

Mary: Thanks. :)

Amy: Too true — thanks. :)

Keith: Follow your dreams. It’s better to try and fail than to never have tried. (And who says you’ll fail? :))

M: Check out Riverglen Press. :P (I’ve been freelancing, too. The full list of the books I’ve made so far is on Blank Slate. But don’t worry, I’ll keep publishing. I can’t stop. :))

E: Thanks. :)

Steve: Following your heart really is the way to go, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks. (Though I do have to say I’m pleasantly surprised at how supportive people have been so far. The number of people who’ve openly said they thought I was crazy is incredibly small. :P)

Carly: Thanks. :) It’s scary, yes, but heck, I’ve wanted a little adventure in my life, and this is a pretty darn good way to do that. :P

Congratulations Ben!!! I applaud your decision. Most people who find themselves in your position lack the courage and integrity to take the exit gracefully not to mention with a press release. It is an unselfish act to realize that you are wasting other peoples money and someone else’ opportunity. Most people cling to the present instead of boldly stepping out and taking the risk of the unknown. Whether it is due to pride, insecurity, lack of courage, lack of self-discipline or what ever those who cling to the other path usually come to an unhappy end in the long run and have wasted (even stolen) the happiness of another human being.

Heather had a professor who announced that she didn’t want to hear any excuses for poor (or lack of) performance in her class. Her own son, a well deserving student, didn’t get in to the Y because there was no room. She said deserving children of general authorities don’t get in for lack of room. Then she laid out the concept presented above. My own ex-husband wasted five years of someone else opportunity before he was invited to leave.

I glad to hear that you have discovered your niche and wish you the best of success in your new adventure.

I add my “wow” to the multitude of “wow’s” out there.

Wow.

That rocks that you never graduated high school! What a cool after-dinner anecdote! You’re my hero.

Wow, Ben. I’m sad to lose you in the program, as I felt we were fellow classmates despite being miles and miles and miles apart. But it sounds like you’ve made the right decision for you and your dreams, so I applaud you! Will you be staying in Provo still? What about working in the HBLL?

I’m actually struggling with the idea of staying in that world, too. I’m married now and I feel a lot of the money I’m putting towards the MLS is a waste of time and money. I would rather be spending the time working on my marriage and I know for a fact that I’m going to be a “domestic engineer” or homemaker as soon as little ones start to arrive. It’s a decision I haven’t made yet, as it’s become a matter of prayer and I know I must at least finish this semester to feel good about myself.

I’m very excited for you! I hope you keep us posted on all your upcoming adventures. :-) Way to go!

Hey Ben, I just found a cool graphic of a man made of books. You’ll like it. Check it out at http://unitedcats.wordpress.com/2008/02/11/book-ideas/

Janet: Thanks. :) Agreed, I’d rather have someone else use the money who actually is going to be a librarian. And that bookman image is awesome. :)

James: Haha, thanks. :)

Sally: I know, I feel like I’ve betrayed all of my librarian friends. But I had to do what I had to do. I have no intention of leaving Provo anytime soon. I could be here for years and years. :) And I’ll stay at the HBLL until I find a typesetting job, which could be in a few months or in a few years. Good luck with your own decision — I don’t know which way it’ll go (obviously :)), but do what’s right for you, regardless of the consequences.

[…] When I dropped out of grad school a month ago, the plan was to go into publishing (specifically typesetting/book design) and write on the side, eventually doing more writing than publishing. […]